


It All Started with a Story...

by Crysania



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Kinda crack fic, Virgin Ben Solo, somewhat experienced rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 00:15:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crysania/pseuds/Crysania
Summary: It's spring break and Rey needs to hitch a ride home with Ben Solo. There's only one problem? She's way behind getting the next chapter of her fanfic out to her readers. Ok, there's two problems. It's smut and Rey, who tends to get motion sickness if she reads in the car, needs to dictate her story to the voice to text program she has on her phone.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 20
Kudos: 225





	It All Started with a Story...

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to the ladies of the Writer's Den who were there when this idea came about and who sprinted alongside for me as I work my way to 50k for NaNoWriMo. And of course to the amazing ladies of the Reylo Fic Recs chat group for constantly inspiring me to write!

Spring break.

At long last.

Rey literally never thought it would get here. Ok ok, not _literally_, as her English teacher would let her know. _Now, Miss Kenobi, you know it will get here eventually, so you cannot “literally” believe that_. Dr. Holdo was such a stick in the mud. She never passed up a chance to correct someone’s grammar. And especially Rey’s. Rey had grown up being punted around the foster system and so she’s still a bit rough around the edges. It’s not that she didn’t get an education. It’s just that hers is sometimes a little lacking.

_Whatever_.

And now she has to drive all the way home, some 250 miles or more, sitting next to Ben Solo. She’s known Ben since she was a kid. Had a bit of a crush on him back in the day. He seemed so tall and worldly back when she was 14 and he was 19. Tall and handsome, and he’d just been her dream as a teenager. Forget the fact that he was a nerd extraordinaire. While Rey was off running track, and doing cartwheels at the bus stop, Ben was playing Dungeons and Dragons and talking about the latest LARP game. She’s still not even sure what that is.

Frankly, she’s not sure she wants to know.

Ben is, perhaps, even more of a stick in the mud than Holdo. Somehow he ended up in graduate school at the same university she’s gone to. She’s studying mechanical engineering, getting her hands dirty as she sees how machinery works. She has ideas, designs to try to improve things in the world. But Ben? He’s studying Medieval Literature. Who even _does_ that?

And so he assists Holdo, offering tutoring help and occasionally teaching her class and grading papers. It probably means she shouldn’t let him drive her home. It probably means she _probably_ shouldn’t be admiring his unruly black hair or the way he fills out his shirts these days. It probably means she shouldn’t be casting him as the male lead in her fantasies.

But well, he does strangely resemble the main character from her favorite TV series. Tall and broad and with black hair. All he needs is the scar down his face to complete the picture. _Maaaybe _ the main character’s hair is just a little bit longer. _Maaaybe_ the man female character has blond hair instead of brown. But you know, whatever, close enough.

Ben hops out of his car and stares down at the one meager bag she has sitting at her side. “Is that all?”

She rolls her eyes. “You know how we live, Ben,” she points out.

He runs his hand through all of that thick dark hair of his and she watches as it falls back into place. “Right. Sorry. Come on then. You can toss it in the backseat.”

She opens the door to the backseat of his old Subaru and hops in the front. “Oh God, I love these heated seats,” she says as she turns the seat on low. She’d _love_ to have heated seats in her car. Ok, she’d love to have a _car_. She gets around via bike and public transport and bumming rides off her better-funded friends. But a heated seat on her bike would be _ace_.

He gives her a look, and then hops in, starting the car up. “Music?” he asks.

“Are you actually _asking_ me what to listen to? I can’t believe that for a moment.” She says this with a sideways grin as they pull out of her apartment building’s parking lot.

He makes a huffing noise. “I was being polite,” he mumbles.

She grins. “Awww, has Benjamin Organa-Solo learned how to be _nice_?”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes.

“No,” she finally says. “I need to work on something.”

“A paper? Over spring break?”

She shrugs. “Something of the sort. Do you mind if I do a bit of speech-to-text?”

“Go right ahead. But just know that I _will_ correct your grammar.”

“That will fuck up my program,” she shoots back.

He shrugs.

“Then type?”

“Reading in the car makes me ill. I can’t even read texts when someone is driving.”

Another shrug. “Fine then,” he says. “I’d rather you talk than vomit in my car.”

“So much concern, Ben.” She turns to him, one eyebrow raised. “I like it.”

She pulls up her phone and fires up the speech recognition app. She really really should not be doing this. It’s just that…she owes her readers the next chapter. She’s so far behind on her outline thanks to midterms and midterm papers and this stupid lit class she’s taking that Ben TAs.

_“Scavenger!” How he managed to sound both cranky and pompous at the same time she’d never know._

“What the hell is this?” Ben asks.

“A story,” Rey responds. “Erase last line,” she says into her phone.

“Last line erased!” comes the all too cheery mechanical voice from her phone.

_“You still call me that?” Kira said, sashaying toward Kylo, her mortal enemy. “I wonder what I might be able to scavenge from you?”_

“Oh my God, is this Space Wars?”

She flicks the off button on her phone again. “Yes,” she hisses. “I told you it was a story.”

“It’s fanfiction. Oh my God, you write Space Wars fanfiction? Holy fuck.” She’s not sure if he’s impressed or amused or maybe a bit of both. “Maybe you should turn that shit in to Dr. Holdo. I hear she loves it.”

“Loves fanfiction?”

“No, Space Wars. She goes, like, dressed up and all that shit.”

“You’re kidding me? She’d be a _great_ Admiral Jensen. I need to talk to her about this.”

Ben spares her a quick glance, but then looks back at the road. “As you were, then.”

Rey giggles.

_“From me?” Kylo’s voice was deep. Deeper than usual. Like molten chocolate or the calm before a storm. Kira could feel it deep in the part of her soul she tried to hide from everyone. She knew they were bonded. But he could do things to her with that voice she never imagined another man could do._

Ben snorts.

Rey ignores him.

_Kira stalked closer to him, licking her lips. “Oh yes. To you. With you. Does it matter?” She eyed him up and down, dark eyes, proud nose, the messy dark hair that fell to just beneath his chin_.

“His hair is past his shoulders,” Ben points out.

“Erase last line,” Rey says and then hits the off button. “I know that.”

“Do you?”

“I’ve seen Space Wars like 15 times. At _least_. I know what Kylo Ren looks like.”

“Then why are you describing him wrong.”

“Because…” She’s not sure how to answer that. “Because I like it shorter. And it’s fanfiction. So I can do whatever I want with him.”

He gives her another glance. “Whatever you say.”

_“You know I can take whatever I want,” Kira said, one hand coming up to press against the muscles of his chest. She loved that chest, wanted to see it bare, wanted to lick…_

“Wait,” Ben squeaks out. “What are you doing?”

“Erase last line!” Rey shouts into the phone, waiting for its confirmation. “Writing _fanfiction_?” she says. “I thought we already established that.” She looks over at Ben and he’s…well, not exactly squirming, but there’s color high up on his cheeks and he looks super uncomfortable. “Well, fuck. Is my smut embarrassing you?”

“It’s just that…”

“What? Am I doing it wrong?” And now she worries. Rey’s entire experience can be summed up with one time she and Finn kissed to see what it felt like and it was _terrible_ and now he’s dating Poe. And one one-night stand with a frat boy that was over before it started. That’s it. One gay best friend and one nearly anonymous frat boy. What she knows of sex, she’s mostly learned through fanficiton and exploring her own body with hands and toys.

“Doing what wrong?”

“The smut. I mean, maybe you can listen to it and tell me if it, I don’t know…sucks. I don’t exactly have much experience with this, you know.”

“With writing? That much is clear.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’ve been writing fanfic since I was 14, Ben.”

“And I’m sure it’s brilliant.”

“My readers seem to think so. _Force Bond_ already has 600 kudos and we haven’t even gotten to the smut. So come on Ben, listen carefully and help a girl out?”

He groans. “Fine.”

“Great!” She hits the on button and off she goes.

_“If I were to strip you down right now, what would you do?” Kira asked. Her fingers toyed with the buttons of his shirt, ready to strip it away from his muscular chest. She needed to feel him beneath her hands._

_“I’d throw you up against that wall and take you so hard that you’d forget about all other men,” Kylo growled._

_“What other men?” Kira asked, her voice breathless with anticipation._

_She licked her lips again and Kylo moaned at the sight, suddenly reaching around behind her to drag her up against him. Kriff, how she loved the feel of him, all those hard planes, and was that?_

_Yes, she was pretty sure it was._

_His erection…large, hard, pressed against her belly._

“I think she’s closer to his height than that, actually,” Ben interrupts with.

Rey turns to look at him, eyes wide. “I…um…I like her shorter.”

“But she’s not.”

“It’s _fanfiction_, Ben. She can be anything I want her to be.”

“Oh God, are you one of those self-insert writers?”

“What? No. It’s still Kira. I just…I like a height difference.” Kira in Space Wars is tall and willowy, long blond hair. She and Kylo are equals in everything, including height. It’s not like it’s made a _huge_ deal of on the show, but still. Rey likes Kira shorter. Like…maybe the difference in height between her and Ben. “And how do you know about self-inserts?”

The tips of his ears are red and he grips the steering wheel hard, eyes straight ahead on the road. “So you can…uh…just change their looks to suit your own fantasies?”

Fuck.

Called out.

“Nice change of subject, Ben. Yes. Now are you going to help me or not?”

He takes one hand off the steering wheel and waves it in the air. “By all means, carry on.”

_“Do you like that, Kira?” Kylo purred in her ear. “Do you like feeling me hard for you. You make me so hard. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”_

_“I can think of something for you to do.” She grabbed his hand, pressed it against one of her breasts. Her nipple is pebbled beneath his fingers. She arched her back as he rubbed the bud between thumb and forefinger. “Yes. Yes like that!”_

_“You’re so hot for me,” he said. “I want to rip all these clothes off you and fuck you right here on the deck of this ship.”_

_“Then do it,” Kira cried, reaching down to grip his erection hard._

“What?” she says as she watches Ben cringe.

“Why would she do that?”

“Do what?”

“Grip it ‘hard’?”

She glances back down at her phone, re-reads her last sentence. “Do you not like that?”

“Like what?”

“Being gripped hard? Should she touch it lightly? Grip it medium? Oh my gosh Ben, I don’t know. What do you like?”

“You’re rambling.”

“You didn’t answer the question,” she points out.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “I don’t know, Rey. The way you write it makes it sound like she squeezes the life out of him. Just a nice, firm grip I guess?”

“Huh,” she mutters. “You would know, I suppose. Erase last night!”

“Last line erased!”

_“Then do it,” Kira cried, reaching down to grip his erection with a firm grip._

_Kylo let out a groan and thrust himself into her hand. She loved the feel of him there, so thick and hard against her hand. “You like that. Don’t you?”_

_Kira moaned._

_He thrust against her hand again. “You want my big fat dick buried so deep inside you that you won’t even remember your name.”_

_“Fuck yes,” Kira said, reaching down to undo the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper. His dick springs out of the constraints of his clothes, like some great big beast leaping out to attack her._

_The sound Kylo makes is inhuman, almost like a mixture between choking and a groan_.

And…

“Ben?” She turns to look at him,

His face is red. Like…_red_ red. Not just the tips of his overly large ears or a little color on his cheeks. But his whole face and the part of his neck she can see beneath his thick black hair.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I’m fine.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat and she realizes that the sound she’d heard in her head, the choking and groaning mixture had come from _Ben_.

“No, you really don’t seem to be.”

“Just go on,” he says.

“Really?”

He doesn’t answer for a moment. “Does he…” He clears his throat. “Does he go down on her?”

“Do you think he’d want to?” She muses over that for a moment. It’s not like Rey has experienced it before. She’s read about it, imagined it surely. The soft slick of a tongue in between her folds as she grips Ben’s hair and holds him close to her cunt.

Wait…

No…

As she holds _some guy_ against her. She’s totally never imagined Ben going down on her. Really

“I think he would.”

“Do you?” she asks. Maybe Ben can tell her what it’s like, give her some bit of experience to make it more realistic.

He doesn’t answer, but she’s fairly certain he just choked on his tongue.

“Ben?”

He mumbles something incoherent.

“Ok so you _do_.”

“I don’t know!” The words burst out of him and she realizes his face has moved onto sort of purplish.

“How can you not know?”

“I’ve never done it.”

“Oh.” Well, she supposes maybe that’s good? Good and bad at the same time. “Do you want to?” He makes that choking noise again. “I mean…with someone…not necessarily…me…” Her voice trails off.

“Just go on, Rey. I think that he’d want to.”

She watches him for a moment longer. “Alright Ben, but I still think there’s something wrong.”

Maybe she shouldn’t be asking him such questions. It’s not like she knows _this_ Ben very well, not the TA graduate student. She knows surly young Ben with limbs he couldn’t quite figure out and ears that his mother kept telling him he’d grow into (spoiler alert: he never did).

He waves one hand in the air and she shrugs.

_Kylo batted her hand away. “No,” he said. “If you keep doing that, this will be over before it started. And I have plans for you.”_

_“Plans?” Her voice was at least an octave higher than usual. She cleared her throat._

_“Oh yes,” he purred and fuck if that didn’t go straight to her core._

_“Please,” she said, not usually one to beg but here and now, she was desperate. _

_Kylo chuckled and his hand came down to the top of her pants. “If I ripped these…”_

_“They’re my only ones. I have nothing else to wear.”_

_Another low chuckle. “You can leave in my pants. Then they’ll all know that you’re mine.” And with that, he tore the material, using his superhuman strength to rip it to shreds. She was left bare before him, and was pleased at the look of desire on his features._

Rey takes a deep breath. She doesn’t write oral sex scenes for a reason. But Ben seems to want it and well, he’s nice enough to listen to her ramble into her phone, so why not give him what he wants? Or, at least, what he thinks the scene needs.

_Kylo kneeled down and there’s something beautiful about seeing the Supreme Leader on his knees before her, a lowly scavenger. She was nothing. He told her that. But with the most powerful man in the galaxy at her feet, she knew she was far more than nothing._

_“Spread your legs,” he murmured. She could feel his breath at the juncture of her thighs and she came close to fainting just from that._

_She did as he asked, spreading her legs apart, bringing her cunt that much closer to his face._

_“Yes,” he said. And then his hands came up to her thighs and his tongue dragged through her folds. And it was_…

“Ben, are you touching yourself?” Rey says with a small squeak.

“Fuck,” Ben says and the hand that was in his lap is back on the steering wheel. He won’t so much as glance her way, hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel.

“You _were_? Holy fuck, is my writing actually getting you hard?” She leans a little closer to him, staring at his crotch. He brings one hand down to block her view.

“Rey, stop.”

“It _did_? That’s…wow…kind of amazing.”

“Yeah, great. Because I’m not totally a normal guy or anything. As if any guy wouldn’t get hard listening to a hot girl talk about oral sex.”

“Oh shit, you think I’m hot?”

“That’s what you took from that?” Now he does glance her way, and Rey can see that his eyes are _dark_.

“Well, _you_ said it,” she says with a pout.

“Just forget it.”

“No way,” she says. “I’m not forgetting it.” And then she does something crazy. Rey is a damned engineering major. She plans _everything_, from her wardrobe for the week to what she’s going to eat to her weekend plans. She’s a planner and it drives her friends _crazy_. But she needs to feel in control of _something_ in her life.

And right now she doesn’t feel in control.

“So do you wanna?” she asks.

“Want to…”

“You know.” She reaches out to grasp one of his hands and brings it down her center, where she can feel a damp spot forming between her legs. It’s not like this isn’t affecting _her_ too. It usually does, reading smut, writing smut. She’s gotten herself off to any number of Space Wars fanfics. And now not only is she writing it, she’s sitting next to _her_ version of Kylo, and wondering what it might feel like to have Ben Solo’s tongue between her legs.

“Fuck, Rey, what?” He jerks the wheel, the car skidding off into the median for a second. The vibrations from the rumble strips make them both groan before they get back onto the road. “Don’t _do_ that, Rey.”

“Do what?”

“You know…_tease_ me…with that.”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment because fuck…what _does_ she say? “I wasn’t teasing,” she finally says.

“You’re seriously offering what? For me to go down on you?”

He keeps his eyes trained on the road ahead, hands gripping the wheel. He’s still hard, Rey realizes, as she glances down at his crotch. She can see him pressing there against his jeans and fuck if it doesn’t look like he’s packing quite the piece. She wonders what it would look like freed from his jeans.

“Yeah,” she finally says. “If you want to. And…you know…I could, do something about that?” She contemplates reaching out to grip it (firmly, not _too hard_). But doesn’t, fearing that if she does such a thing Ben will drive them right off the road and into a ditch and then how will they explain _that_ one to his parents? _Yes, Miss Organa-Solo, we were getting hot and heavy in the car when Ben crashed it._

“You’re serious.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I guess ‘why not’ is not the answer you’re looking for?”

“No. It can’t be just ‘why not,’ Rey. That’s not how it works. That’s not how _I_ work.” There’s that muscle in his jaw twitching again.

“Alright,” she says. “Look, it’s because I want you, alright? Because you’re hot.”

“I’m hot?”

“Ben.”

“No, seriously. You think I’m hot? But…”

“Yes I do,” she interrupts with. “I don’t know. I like you, Ben. I always have.”

He swallows hard. “You’ve wanted to get into my pants that long?”

“Maybe,” she admits. Maybe she had a huge crush on him back in the day. Maybe she had hoped he’d be her first, even though that had ended up being some random guy she met at a frat party freshman year. Maybe she still hoped he’d be her first orgasm _with_ someone, rather than on her own. Said frat boy had fucked her, fallen asleep, and she’d gotten herself off while he laid slumped next to her on the bed.

And then he’d bragged about it the next day.

She’d never told anyone he’d lasted all of two minutes and was a lousy shag.

“Really?”

“Ben, do you want to?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then finally he mumbles. “Yeah. I mean…yes. Can we?”

“Yes!” she says and holy _fuck_, she’s going to fuck Ben Solo. She pulls out her phone and swipes over to her maps app. “We’re almost to the next town.” She types in _hotels near me_ and comes up with a list. “Nearest hotel is a Motel 6, a little over five miles down the road.”

“A hotel?”

“Well, I don’t want to do this in the car. You’re way too big for that.”

And he’s _grinning_, the bastard. “I meant you, not your dick.”

“Oh.”

“Oh just get us there, Ben. We’ll see what you’re packing then.”

And he speeds up. Just a little. Ben is not a rulebreaker. It’s one of the things she finds most endearing about him. He looks like that emo goth kid who sits in the back of the room and, like, shoplifts or something. All dressed in black, with black hair (natural, she knows), and dark eyes with pale skin. But no, he follows the rules like they’re a lifeline.

His father was a bit of a hustler back in the day, his mother a rebellious bra-burning hippie sort, and she supposes he wants to distance himself as much as he can from them.

They’re both quiet as they fly along the road. There’s an ache between her thighs and it’s hard not to squirm, to rub her legs together and try to get some relief. But she can’t wait for Ben’s gorgeous plush lips and that tongue of his that she might have had just one too many wet dreams about as a teenager.

“You’re sure about this?” Ben says as they pull up.

“You bet.” She gives him a cheeky grin. “Are you?”

He nods, and she’s surprised at the absolute _seriousness_ to the look he gives her. And then he leans over, grabs her around the shoulders and pulls her in for an absolutely messy and searing kiss. His tongue finds hers and she feels like she’s drowning in him, hands coming up to finally…_finally_…tangle in that gorgeous dark hair.

When he pulls back, she smiles. “Yup. _Definitely_ sure.”

And she’s surprised to see him smile. Ben Solo _doesn’t_ smile. But she supposes if there’s a good time to smile, it’s when you’re about to get a hotel room just for shagging.

“I’ll just…go get a room?”

“You don’t have to pay.”

He still looks strangely serious. “Yes, Rey. I do.” Then he clears his throat, runs his fingers through his hair. “Should I….for the night?”

“I don’t think Motel 6 rents by the hour.”

His cheeks tinge a little pink again and he nods, climbing out of the car. She enjoys the view as he walks away and she’s amused to watch him stop to adjust himself a little. It has to be uncomfortable, having something so thick and hard pressed against material that really doesn’t have much give. It has to be awkward too. Not for the first time she’s thankful she’s a woman. Guys might have the upper hand in peeing their name in the snow, but at least no one _knows_ that she’s aroused.

_Ben does_, her mind not so helpfully provides her. _Of course he does, you shoved his damned hand right between your legs. It’s hard to miss_.

It’s already better than her last lover. Because this time she’s _actually_ wet. It’s decidedly less fun jamming a cock up there, even a small one, when you’re dry. And pulling out the lube when you _should_ have at least enough of your natural lubrication to take someone that small just seems sad.

Now she’s so wet that she’s sure she’d be positively _dripping_ if she weren’t wearing her underwear.

While she’s waiting, she picks up her phone and texts her father, well, her adoptive father at least, that they’re going to be a day late. _Car broke down. No big deal, just needs a new tire. Will be back on the road tomorrow. Ben’s taking care of things_.

When Ben returns, she gives him an absolute shit-eating grin.

“What did you do?” he asks, getting back in the car and passing her the room key.

“Why do you think I did anything?”

“_Rey_.”

“Okay, fine. I texted Dad to tell him the car broke down and we can’t get it fixed until tomorrow.”

Ben is staring at her, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Please tell me that’s okay?”

“You want to stay the night here?”

She holds up the room key. “We paid for the night, didn’t we? There’s a lot we could do, you know.”

He swallows hard. “I…uh…do I need to get condoms?”

Rey’s eyes widen. Fuck, they’re really going to do this. “I’m on birth control,” she says quietly. “And it’s…well, it’s been awhile. Ok a _long_ while.” Three years and four months if she’s going to be accurate. “I’ve been tested since. I’m clean.”

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. And then finally. “Ok.”

She waits for him to say more.

He’s strangely silent, pulling up in front of what she assumes is their room, and getting out of the car.

“Ben?”

He unlocks the door and steps inside the room.

Their room. Where they’re going to…do that. Her and Ben Solo. She thinks of all the times she used to think about him as a teen, wondering what he looked like beneath the clothes, wondering how it might feel to take him inside her. Some of her earliest masturbation sessions had been to Ben’s lips and hands and those intense eyes of his.

She hits the light switch and shuts the door behind her.

“Ben?” she says again.

“Yes.” The word is strangely choked.

“Are you?”

He doesn’t look at her as he speaks. “Am I what?”

“Clean? Or do I need to run out and get us condoms?”

“I’m…uh…yeah I’m clean,” he says.

“Ok.”

“Yeah. Ok.”

They stand just inside the door, staring at the bed. Fuck, if it isn’t the most awkward thing _ever_. It seemed so natural, the flirting, the talk of cocks and going down on someone. But here, facing the bed where, she supposes, they should be getting to it, it just feels…weird.

“We don’t have to…” he starts to say.

“So how do we want to do this…” she says at the same time.

“Fuck,” Ben says.

“Yeah.” And then she laughs. She can’t help it, really. The whole thing shouldn’t be this funny but they fucking just rented a _hotel room_ for the night so they could fuck and wow, she did _not_ see this coming.

_Coming_…she giggles even harder.

“What are you laughing at?” Ben sounds cross. It makes her laugh even harder.

“This,” she says, waving her hand around her. “Us? Come on, you don’t find it amusing.”

He crosses his arms over his chest. His strong, muscular chest and fuck it all, she really really needs to see him with that shirt off. She remembers him playing games with some of the boys back in high school, when he’d been tall and lanky, and almost painfully thin after shooting up nearly a foot his sophomore year.

But now he’s…well…not painfully thin.

And she _wants_.

“Sorry,” she says, wiping her eyes. “I know it’s not funny. I just didn’t quite expect it to get so awkward.”

“You want me to be like Kylo,” he surmises. “Sweep you off your feet, ravish you at the Motel 6?”

“I didn’t…”

“Can I make this more awkward?” His voice is quiet, and she almost doesn’t catch the words.

“Um, sure?”

She turns to him and watches as he takes a deep breath. His eyes are looking up at the ceiling, as if somehow that holds the answer to the meaning of life. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Yeah I know…you told me that.”

“No, I mean, I’ve never done _any_ of this before.”

It takes her a moment to catch his meaning. “You’re a virgin,” she says. A statement, not a question.

“Yes,” he whispers, and there’s such abject misery behind the word that she feels absolutely fucking awful.

“Oh fuck,” she mutters, looking around the hotel room. Ben Solo is a virgin. A fucking _virgin_. She tries to push back that little bit of excitement at the thought of being someone’s first. But there’s the bigger issue. They’re standing in some random motel room in the middle of nowhere, and she’s dragged him in to lose his virginity in what seems like a completely meaningless one-night stand.

_But is it? You’ve been half in love with Ben Solo since you were 14._

“If you don’t want to…” he starts to say.

“You deserve better than this,” she says. “I mean, better than losing it in some crappy hotel room.”

He shrugs. “I’ve not been saving it or anything,” he admits. “I just…I don’t know. Never got around to it, I guess. I was too busy with school and work and trying to run away from my life.”

She nods. She well remembers all of Ben’s attempts to distance himself from his parents. In doing so, he’d distanced himself everyone he knew, keeping to the backs of the classroom, keeping out of everyone’s ways. She remembers, as a middle school kid watching the high schoolers on the football field, that he’d always seemed so lonely.

“Ben,” she murmurs. “Come sit with me?”

He nods and she leads him to the bed.

“Do you _want_ to do this?” she asks him, reaching out and taking his hand in hers. “Because we don’t have to. It was just…I don’t know. I wanted it. I wanted _you_.”

“You did?” 

She nods. “I do. That hasn’t changed.”

“Hmmm…okay.”

“Please Ben, sound more excited,” she says, the words droll.

“Sorry, it’s just…”

“You’re nervous. I know. Come here,” she says and pulls him closer. “Kiss me. You were good at that.”

“I’ve done that before,” he says with a little nervous laugh. “Kissed a girl. And a guy. I didn’t like that much. But you know, high school and experimentation.”

Her eyes are wide. “I get it. I’ve done that too.”

“You have?”

She shrugs. “Someday I’m going to get out of you who you kissed,” she says. He starts to say something, and she holds up her hand. “But not now. I don’t need that visual going into that. In all honesty, I don’t want to think of you with _anyone_ else.”

“Good,” he murmurs. She pulls him in, one hand on his face, and lets him make the final move. Which he does, leaning in to kiss her. She likes kissing him. It’s not that he’s an expert, but he seems to read her pretty well. And he’s not at all like that guys she kissed before, all thick tongue halfway down her throat. He’s soft, tentative. She likes it.

“Mmmm,” she murmurs as they separate. “I like that.”

He smiles at her and she leans back on the bed, pulling him with her. He comes to rest next to her, his hand hovering over her, but not coming down to touch.

“You can touch me,” she says.

“I…”

“Unless you don’t want to? But that seems such a waste of this hotel room.”

He makes a small huffing noise. “Ok.” She almost rolls her eyes, but she supposes that would just scare him away. So instead she reaches out and takes his hand in hers, pushing his hand just underneath her shirt.

His hand settles there, heavy against the smooth skin of her stomach, and he takes a moment to breathe before moving it just a little further up under her shirt. “Is this alright?” he asks.

“It’s fine…it’s good,” she amends. He’s still hesitant though, his fingers trailing over the skin he finds there but not venturing any further. With a small shake of her head, she reaches down and pulls her shirt over her head. Her bra follows a moment later. It’s not like he’d probably be able to get it undone on his own. As it is, his hands are trembling a little.

“Touch me,” she says, and he does as she asks, skimming his hand along her stomach and up toward her breasts. He’s concentrating _so hard_.

“Fuck,” he says as his thumb brushes across her nipple and it hardens. “That’s amazing.” He does it again, circling it with his thumb and then pinching it with thumb and forefinger.

“Ouch,” she says, and he instantly draws back. “Sorry…they’re sensitive. A little lighter.”

And he does as she asks, rolling it lightly. “Can I…I don’t know…fuck…can I use my mouth?”

She leans up to look at him. “Please…”

He leans forward and pulls one complete nipple into his mouth and _fuck_. That mouth was made for all of this. She loves the feel of his plush lips on her, loves the way his mouth encases her entire nipple, sucking it in and laving it with his tongue. He has no clue what he’s doing. It’s completely artless, but she enjoys it nonetheless, her back arching as he hits a spot with his teeth.

He gives the same ministrations to the other nipple, his hand toying with the one still wet from his mouth. “This ok?” he asks against her breast and she likes the feel of his breath ghosting across her.

“More than ok.” She lets him continue on for awhile, just enjoying the feel of him there as he explores her.

When he dips a little lower and his lips touch her abdomen, she jumps a bit.

He smiles.

“Did you…” she starts to ask, her voice trailing off. It’s not like they hadn’t talked about it. Sort of.

“Did I?”

“You know…” Why is she being the awkward one her? “You seemed to think Kylo wanted to go down on Kira.”

“Oh, he does,” he says and there’s a bit of darkness to his voice. “And I do. Yes.”

“Ok then.”

She reaches down to pull her pants off, tossing her underwear right after it. And then she’s bare before him. It’s strangely comfortable and yet _not_ at the same time. Because he’s staring at her with such intensity that she wants to close her legs, crawl under the covers, forget the whole damned thing.

“No wait, don’t,” he says, as if reading her mind.

And then he stands, grabbing both her ankles and pulling her to the edge of the bed. He kneels there, right in front of her, head coming close to her cunt. “This is,” he starts to say. “Can I touch you?” He brings a hand close to her, resting on the inside of her thigh.

“It’s really sweet that you’re asking permission,” she says. “But dear God, _stop_ and just touch me. Do whatever you want.” She almost says _I’m yours_, but she’s afraid that might be too much.

She leans up on her elbows and watches as Ben presses one long, thick finger into her. And _holy fuck_. It’s not that she didn’t know he had large fingers. It’s just that fuck that, it feels good. She lets out a soft moan as he pulls his finger out and plunges it back in, mimicking what she hopes he’ll do with his cock soon.

“More,” she whispers.

He listens. She’ll give him that much. He presses in with two fingers and _fuck_ if she’s feeling this full from just two fingers, she can’t imagine what she’ll feel when full of his cock. She almost tells him to just get his damned clothes off and get inside her, but he seems to be enjoying this so damned much that she doesn’t dare.

Besides, it’s wonderful.

“I want to taste you,” he says.

She curses.

“No?”

“No...I mean…yes. Yes please.”

He chuckles and then leans forward and does exactly as he says he wants to. He swipes a tongue across her slit. Her head goes back of its own accord, eyes shutting from the sheer pleasure of it all.

“Do it again,” she whispers. And he does. Again. And again. It’s completely artless. He’s almost slurping at her, and the noises he’s making are obscene as he tongues her again and again. But…she has nothing to compare it too and all she knows is she could get _very_ used to this. The slide of his wet tongue along her soaking wet folds is like nothing she could ever imagine.

And she had bought one of those suction toys. The one that was supposed to “mimic” oral sex.

It had been pretty amazing.

But now she knows how much it failed.

And Ben is enjoying himself, humming against her cunt as he continues his explorations. He tries different things and then does them again if they elicit some response that he’s looking for. He nibbles a little (no, she doesn’t like that), sucks her clit into his mouth (oh _fuck yes_), wraps his tongue around her clit as he sucks (she can’t even get a word out at that). And then finally he presses a couple fingers up upside her as he continues to work at her clit.

It’s _amazing_.

And she can hardly believe she has _Ben Solo_ between her legs pleasuring her in such a way. Her hands reach down to grab his hair, pull his mouth tight against her. She pushes herself up on her elbows to watch him.

And then he looks up at her.

His eyes dark, pupils blown wide.

And he does _something_ with his finger and his mouth. She’s not even sure what but _holy fuck_, she loses her concentration, back arching, head going back, while the most amazing orgasm she has _ever_ experienced washes over her.

Her whole body shakes as she comes down and she eventually has to tug at Ben’s hair and pull him away from her because she’s _so fucking sensitive_ and it’s starting to actually hurt a little.

“Wow,” she says and her voice cracks on the syllable.

“I did ok?”

She laughs as he wipes the back of his mouth with one hand and then crawls up the bed to come lay next to her.

“I think you’re a natural,” she says, and he looks so damned proud of himself that she laughs again.

“I think it’s you,” he says, his voice quiet, almost serious. “I don’t think it could have been anyone else.”

“Ben?” she asked.

He shakes his head. “I like you, Rey. I have…for a long time.”

“But…”

“Why didn’t I ever say anything? I mean…have you seen me?” He gives a self-deprecating laugh.

“Yeah…I have. You’re _hot_. Why do you think my Kylo has shorter hair?”

He blinks once, twice, and then just keeps staring at her. “Wait you mean you’re imagining me…”

“And me,” she admits, wincing a bit as she does so. It’s not like she ever thought she’d tell him she fantasizes about him.

But she does.

She really really does.

And she has for a long time.

“Wow.”

“Sorry, did I just make you like _really_ uncomfortable?”

“What? No. I’m just not sure how to react to that.” He grins then. “I’m not really sure I’ve ever been someone’s fantasy before.”

“No? I bet you are. You just…sit in the back of the classroom and don’t pay attention to anyone. So I’m _sure_ you’ve missed some things.”

“Yeah well, I mean…there wasn’t anyone…but you.”

She watches him for a moment. “We’re really quite the pair aren’t we? When was the first time?”

“I’ve never…”

“Not _that_, Ben. I know that. We’re going to get to _that_. I mean, when was the first time you masturbated to thoughts of me?”

“God, I don’t even know.”

Rey’s eyes widen. “That long?”

Ben shrugs.

“I was 14,” she says.

“That’s gross. I was 19, Rey.”

She laughs. “It’s only gross if it’s the other way around.”

He shakes his head. “You were 18,” he says. “I hadn’t seen you much in a couple years.”

“The study abroad thing.” She well remembers that. She missed him during that time, wondering how he was doing in a country that she had once called home and barely remembered. He’d sent her occasional e-mails from there, shared photos of London and the countryside near where he was attending school. It was a strange bit of nostalgia, really, having those feelings for a place she doesn’t ever remember living in.

He gives her a soft smile. “Yeah. I came home and you had…grown up. You’d always been this cute kid, but then suddenly you were, well, _you_.”

She smiles at that. “A lot changes between 16 and 18,” she says.

“I suppose.”

They’re quiet for a moment. And then Rey shivers.

Ben looks down at her and his eyes go a little dark again. “You’re cold. We should…”

“Fuck?” Rey very helpfully provides.

“I was going to say ‘get under the covers’ but sure, I guess.” He’s smirking now, color high on his cheeks, and Rey reaches up to playfully punch him in the arm.

“It’ll warm me up.”

And now he _does_ turn bright red, right up to the tips of his overly large ears that she loves so damned much. “I…yeah I guess it would?”

“Come on, I’m lying here completely naked…”

“I know,” he says, looking her up and down.

She rolls her eyes. “Stop sounding like such a teenage boy.”

“I didn’t get this out of my system as a teenager.” He waggles his eyebrows and she bursts out laughing.

“You’re ridiculous. Now get this damned shirt off because I _need_ see what’s going on underneath this thing.” She tugs at the hem of his shirt, and is grateful when he pulls it off. Because _fuck_, Ben Solo is beautiful. She can’t apply that to too many men, really. Cute or handsome, sure. But beautiful? Ben is like a fucking work of art, sculpted out of the finest marble. His skin is smooth and pale, dotted with a constellation of moles, and stretched over _muscles_, a whole lot of muscles.

She reaches out to trace her finger over some of the moles and watches as his nipples pebble from the contact, watches as he shivers a little.

“Fuck, Rey…”

“That’s the plan,” she says.

And then she gets daring. They’ve gone this far. She might as well push them ahead. She reaches down and cups his clearly impressive erection.

His hips thrust into her hand and he lets out a string of curse words that she’s _never_ heard from him before.

“So are you going to take these off, or do I have to do it for you?” she says softly, leaning closer to him.

He reaches down to try to undo the button of his pants, but his hands are trembling so much he can’t seem to do it. He curses, tries to maneuver the button out of the buttonhole again, curses some more.

“Let me?” Rey asks.

He makes a huffing noise, and then nods.

“Good.” Fuck, how she’s wanted to strip him for what feels like Goddamn forever. And so she reaches down with hands that tremble just slightly, but are much surer than Ben’s owns. She deftly undoes the button, and then slides the zipper down. “Tighty-whiteys?”

“I wasn’t expecting to get laid,” he says in his defense.

She laughs. “I expected black boxer-briefs.”

“I’m a man of many surprises,” Ben says, and she’s glad to see him relax a little, a soft smile on his face.

“Well, let’s see one more. Lift up?” she says, reaching for the band of his underwear and the top of his jeans.

He does as she asks, shifting so his hips lift up. She hooks her fingers around the offending material, and pulls it down. It catches, for just a moment, on his cock, and then it springs free.

And she’s left staring.

It’s not like she didn’t have some sense that he had a decent size cock. For one, Ben is _massive_. Tall, broad, big hands and feet. But she knows that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But she’d also seen the bulge straining against his jeans, and suspected he was packing quite the punch there.

And he is. It’s easily the biggest one she’s seen, even the few she’s seen in porn. It _definitely_ surpasses the one attached to the only other guy she’d slept with.

“Well, fuck,” she mutters.

“What?”

“Good thing you went down on me, Ben Solo. Because I’m not sure that thing could fit otherwise.”

He groans, covers his eyes. “Rey, if you keep talking like that, I’m going to come without even touching you and _that_ would be mighty embarrassing.”

She shrugs. “I’d rather you come _in_ me.”

“Rey,” he says, and she _loves _the needy little whine to his voice.

“Alright, come here big boy.” She pulls the covers aside and props up the couple of pillows that are on the bed. Leaning back, she pulls a now naked Ben Solo over her and _fuck_ if she doesn’t love the feel of his bare skin against hers.

As he comes to rest in between her spread thighs, he sighs. “I’m not even _in_ you and this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.”

She laughs. “There’s so much _more_, Ben, I’m sure of it.”

“More with you?”

“We’ll try _everything_,” she says, reaching her arms around him and pulling him in for a kiss.

“Everything,” he echoes.

“Absolutely.”

“Unless I disappoint you.”

She shakes her head. “Impossible. I don’t care if you come as soon as you get inside me. I like the thought of your losing control.”

He’s shaking a little as he comes up on his knees. Rey starts to reach for him and when her hand comes in contact with his cock he hisses. The muscles at the sides of his neck stand out in strained cords. He’s so _close_ to losing control, just from one touch of her hand around his massive girth. And he _is_ massive, easily as big around as her wrist. She has one larger than average dildo in her collection, but she never uses it without lube.

She’s just going to have to hope that his going down on her, the amazing orgasm she’s already had, are enough for her body to take him in. Because he’s even bigger than her largest dildo.

“OK are you ready?”

He takes a deep breath. “Yes.”

“Do you…” She’s not sure how to ask it.

“Yes…guide me. Please. The last thing I want to do is jam myself into places I don’t belong.”

“Maybe someday,” she murmurs.

And then she puts her hand around him again, lining him up with herself. He presses forward, just slightly, and she releases him, her hands coming up to hold onto his shoulders.

He makes a small choking noise in the back of his throat as he moves a little further in. And it’s tight, there’s no doubt about it. She’s never felt so _full_ before. But the stretch doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t burn. It feels _good_, and as the head of his cock drags along her insides, she shudders. She’s still so sensitive from the orgasm, that she feels close to _another_.

Ben takes a moment to breathe and she looks down and _fuck_, he’s only halfway in her. He curses and shouts her name when she reaches down to cup his ass and pulls him forward until he’s seated all the way inside her.

And _fuck_.

Fuck fuck _fuck_.

“Rey,” he says, and his voice is strangled. “This is…”

“You can move,” she says.

“I won’t last long.”

“I don’t care.”

It’s fucking amazing. She’s fucking Ben Solo. And it’s _amazing_. He does as she asks then, pulling out to thrust back in. He shifts positions slightly, finds his own rhythm and he’s hitting _that spot_ with the head of that thick cock of his and she’s _so close_.

So fucking close.

She reaches down between their bodies, finds her already sensitive clit. “Fuck.”

“Is this ok?” he says, faltering a bit.

“Keep going.”

She rubs a little faster, a little harder. Ben’s cock thrusting in and out of her, dragging along her insides, the feel of her own finger on her clit, and she’s almost there.

Ben’s rhythm begins to stutter.

“I can’t hold on.”

“Harder!” she says and he does so. How she does love his willingness to listen.

She feels her whole body draw tight, like a bow string ready to shoot off an arrow.

“Rey…”

“Just…fuck!” she shouts as her orgasm washes over her. Her second. Fuck.

Ben grabs her hips and thrusts once, twice, a third time, the rhythm lost. He shouts something incoherent as he pushes as deep into her as possible, and then she feels him come inside her, feels this gush of hot liquid that she never knew could make her tingle and warm inside.

She wraps her arms around him as he catches his breath. His arms sag and he almost comes to rest on top of her before shifting to the side, bringing her with them.

They’re still connected, his cock softening inside her. She doesn’t want to let him go. Ever.

“That was…” he starts to say, takes a shuddering breath.

Rey pulls back to look at him. There are tears in his eyes, tears that threaten to fall. Oh fuck. “Are you…” She thinks better of asking him if he’s crying. She can see he’s trying to choke back the tears. Her first time hadn’t been that emotional. It had been a sure let’s get it over thing and it had been _terrible_. She hadn’t orgrasmed. He hadn’t cared. And then she had called a cab and gone home.

But clearly this _meant_ something to Ben.

It meant something to her too.

“Ben?”

“Sorry,” he murmurs, pulling her close to him. She rests her head on his shoulder.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She reaches up to stroke his damp hair. “That was incredible.”

“Was it?” he asks. “For you too, then?”

She laughs. “I came twice.”

“I did that,” he says and he sounds proud.

“You did.” Well, she helped it along the second time, but there’s no use squabbling over that.

“Maybe three times the next time?” he asks. The words are slightly slurred, and she can feel his breath starting to even out.

“Maybe,” she says with a soft laugh.

“Good then. I like a challenge.”

“You always did.”

She can feel him almost completely relax then, one hand heavy on her hip. His leg shifts and his cock finally comes out of her. She feels strangely empty at that.

_Three times, eh? _Well, they have the hotel for the night. She supposes there’s always the next morning.


End file.
